Jus this one time..

I've waited so long for a miracle..

An escape.. a solution.. an exit,

but it feels now ,that I am getting warmer..

I'm still 16, and I still don't know whats up..

Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body..

Sometimes I feel too young,

and sometimes I feel like I'm rushing into life, and again,

I'm only 16.

I want things done and I want things clear,

So the next time I find a road, I'll know where to go.

I'm done with seeing myself lost on the intersection..

I'm tired of the circles and I'm tired of the dark thats been keeping me to stop and wait..and to think. It's been wasting too much of my time..

I don't know what I'll see anymore when I look out outside..

I don't know if this is the right decision,

But I know this isn't the wrong.

Yes, this is what I want

But is it what I need? Or is this where I'm supposed to head?

Talking it over with my friends doesn't solve anything anymore.

But when I keep it buried inside, at times I feel like I'm going to explode..

Maybe because I know that neither of them will completely understand me..

What I'm analyzing or what I'm picturing..

Please understand that, I need this time for me, and not just for you.. Just this time,

I need someone to listen

& someone to read my heart

& my thoughts..

& scan the pictures into their mind..

& think me over like I'm their shoes..

asking, what would you have done if you where me..

But, Perhaps I am asking for too much...?

Think.

You know when you let something go

You think that it will never come back.

You believe when people discriminates the life you have brought to the opened space

You think that you should just dishevel the life

and let it drop away between your feet.

But when people point that your right

what do you think?

When people admits and approves of their mistakes.

do you forgive?

long night

I think this is the longest night I haven't had in a while.
I've been sitting on the edge of my bed, thinking for over an hour....
of the things i wanted,
the things i needed,
the things i hated,
the things i loved---
and i realized, there was no end
so i shook myself up- reminding myself to step out of it,
i was falling too deep...
And then I got back on here, trying to write about the specific things of each topic- but i just couldn't. I can't.
I've already deleted a whole paragraph of the things i was thinking about, labeled under, 'wanted,' when i was thinking back on my bed But, it was getting too damn long- eternally..
Ah, crap.
What a life.

Perfect morning

Waking up before the sun is due. Make myself a hot lemon tea, sitting on my dark balcony, sitting face to face with the moon. The clouds would be the soldiers guarding the moon around. The stars would be the audience, watching us acquaint each other about what's going on. Having a little girl chat of the conclusions about what today would be like. I would bring my journal for in case, to take notes.
I would share my cup of tea with the moon. This would be the least i could do since the moon is never off duty. Hard worker; keeps shinning weakly throughout the entire day... wonder if she ever gets tired...
I would ask the moon what it's like up there. Watching anything and everything in all one seconds. Miracles happens, crimes- what does the earth look like in her eyes. Do you talk to the stars? Do you guys play hide and seek? Who's the best? Do you have a best friend?
I wonder what the stars see. I wonder if they know how beautiful they look in my four eyes. I wonder if they ever really "follow someone around" on purpose. Are they friend's with any of the planets...
After my long early tea party with the moon, i would watch it fade away as the horizon grabs my attention. Alarming me that, it's time. Watching the horizon line orange and the Stars fade.
I wonder if she ever gets tired...

thinking..

I thought this was really pretty. I photo shopped it only because i wanted to do this
<---.
It's January, but the weather was like the early fall. The water was beautiful though i couldn't get a perfect picture of that.
I slept around 5 a.m yesterday. Sucks, and i know it's really bad. But i just cant sleep unless i get as much as writing done and feel satisfied. And it drives me crazy because the second i close my lap top and lay on my bed, all i can think about is the book. The story. The characters. I watch them in my head like a film; and that is one of the ways i make my stories. Into a movie-in my head, then into words. So much easier.
Ha ha they just won't leave me alone! I wake up in the morning-afternoon and as i get ready for my day to start; brushing my teeth and washing my face, everything in my head runs into a story. I just think way to much and sure, it can be a good thing- but not when it's like seriously planted into you head and haunts you when you do anything and everything. But i guess that's the life of an author. Everything runs into a story. Narrorator must be really annoyed though. Ha ha.

I also took this. Though its not a PERFECT shot. I kinda moved the camera when i click caputre andyeah. Haha but i still think it looks pretty good. Someday, i want to do this with the Effel Tower, own it :) Not exactly, just saying . haha. My mom was behind me, keep blabbering into my ear of some totally nonsense. Shes hilarious. but really coool.... at times. Anyways. My hands look really red -this is photoshopped to, just a bit of the colors. And it looks like i have only three fingers. xD



When omg, When i woke up this afternoon. I logged on into myspace and you know what i saw? This video. Its one of the most inspiring thing I've ever watched in my life;..
I think its beautiful that celebrities are standing up and letting their voice be heard about something so very, very important like this. And what really bothers me is, the citizens- celebrities, PRESIDENTS; Of course, something like THIS is never thought of in there minds but, I really really truly think that this is beautiful. A real celebrity is someone who uses their talent to bring more interest to others through whatever they believe in doing- and this is one. Being heard, raising your voice for the whole nation- that's a true celebrity. True role model, trying to do whats the best. Of course in Korea its all about "If I'm OK" then its all "cool", sure "who cares" about the rest. "I'M" the one that has "everything" and i can just "live my life" the way i choose; but no. I believe that, the ONLY reason South, Korea is like this is because of the people living the way THEY want to. Not caring about the rest, and only defending our country when they call it a piece of "Crap." That's the only time when they stand up. Our country praises America on our knees. America is our "ROLE MODEL" we all want to be like them- but if we are going to continue being selfish and so disrespectful and very irresponsible; then all we are gonna do is fall back further down. You know, it makes me want to get my opinion shown to my country. I know the governments say things about these but, do you really think we are going to listen to what they have to say? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT, you know why? Because they are BORING. Bring someone that is popular, well known to the center and let them talk. Or a citizen who can state exactly whats going on. Ah, its so upsetting to see things like this when we can fix it. This is getting too long. ha ha but yeah. Our president is only president because he is rich and people believed that he could have done alot of things for our coutry, but i guess not. This is dissapointing; Mr. president. :[
Heres the video

MySpace Celebrity and Katalyst present The Presidential Pledge