Today, i went out for dinner at a good family restaurant with my mom's best friend and his kids joined along. They were a quite older than i was, 22(f) and 18(m) so, labeling them "kids" probably won't be necessary. I don't know if it was just me, but the second i took a seat next to my mother, it felt as my heart accelerated from the thundering engine of an airplane. Just knowing the fact that he was sitting right across me. I was startled-- struggling to keep my spoon still as i held it up to my mouth. Struggling to keep my water in the glass. I know he wasn't, but it felt like he was watching my every move. I was certainly not Hailey today. I'm disappointed. It feels so weird because, i don't think in my life- that I've felt something like this so close to my heart. The emotion, the thundering engine stuck in the middle of my chest; every second our eyes magnetized, i felt a gush of blood wounding up to my face. I felt like a little girl again, having a crush on my next door neighbor. I was probably shaking for the half hour from cold and... the new emotion? It was so uncomfortable, so unbearable. Looking back a few hours later and thinking about how chicken i was- I'm just sitting here laughing at how coy and innocent i was acting. Ah, I think i know what it feels like to be in love again, or to have a crush. This feeling was buried so deep in me, i almost forgot this emotion existed.He was18 and I'm 15(16 in like.... ten months haha.). Is this not right? Can I not like him? Too much difference? But I believe that, age ain't nothin' but a number.